A day for mundane things. That is a nice change.
I have gone Facebook. It was inevitable. My two best friends and an old friend were there. It was only a matter of time that I, as a hold out, would succumb.
And succumb I have. No, I do not have a farm which needs constant tending, nor any other games. But I do see an ego.
My ego looks at those with 200+ friends and wonders, do I have that many people in my life who would like to jump on to my Facebook bandwagon? Who all might I hunt up? Old school mates, barely recalled. Old boy friends, once tried to forget. Cousins I have attempted to maintain contact with and failed mightily. People I meet through my women’s groups. Or through Mary Kay. Or through the SCA. Or through Wicca classes. Or through work. Or University. Yes……
I feel so alone right now that knowing I could scarf up a ton of friends, equal to any of my other acquaintances, would enlarge my life. From the outside, yes, but I need connection right now. To bring my past back in to focus. To reclaim my present. To peer reflective into my future.
I might be able to ‘keep up with the Facebook’s’ at this rate. Reclaim some more self worth from external sources. Yet, is not the measure of one’s life supposed to be their friends? No monies, no accomplishments, no acclaim is so worth noting at one’s end, as the friends who attend your final party.
I wonder what happens if my friends have hundreds, and I can only scrounge up a few dozen?