Let me see if I can get these aligned in a way that represents my philosophy and cosmology.
Planar dimension? 3rd dimension?:
Swords – the sword of truth, the sword of justice, purging, plasma? gaseous?
Staves – the staff of power, the rod of knowledge, swishing, gaseous? plasma? liqudous?
Cups – the cup of wisdom, the heart of emotions, pouring, liquidous? plasma? solid?
Pentacles – the coin of exchange, the body of might, south, solid? plasma?
2nd dimension? 3rd? Actually the 4th?
Inwards – court cards, personhood and archetypes of the human soul and experience, the ape vibrational state, spirit? soul?
3rd dimension? 2nd?
Upwards (chaos and the all – 5th dimension?) – even trumps?
Downwards (gravity towards one = 1st dimension?) – odd trumps?
Forwards in Time – ghost card? cyclic patterns within the cards? The layout?
Backwards in Time – ummm…..dunno yet retrocyclic patterns with the cards? The layout?
Infinite loop of Möbius strip, paradox of opposites, as move towards so moves away, flip sides of reality coin
Hmm. Chaos collapsing, creating reality as it coalesces into the One. Chaos pulled, tweezed, carded into the patterned vibrations more and more alike and akin until all would be identical, uniform, contained, unchanging. Time without limit becomes time without time. The process of collapse is the process of change is the measure of time. At either extreme, no time can exist for no change can be measured. Time, the rate of change, the artifact of duality.
Taking full responsibility for my parts of the picture of how I got where I am today. Some of them keep trying to squeeze out from under my recognition, and I hear the little rationalizations dancing like bones and chains in the wind, but I am trying to take full ownership. I know some days it will be harder than others, and some days I will ignore my true truth, and others I will be devastated by it. Some days I will be weak and wish to stop trying, others I will fight for all the wrong reasons, and others I will be laid low by the weight of truth, or lie, or responsibility. But it is MY truth, not a tool he can use to abuse me further, not a weight around my neck, not his weight for me to carry. This is going to be very hard. I will have to write them down, and look them in my mirror, soon. Again. And yet again. Mirrors within mirrors, going backwards and forwards through time.
I feel and hear them fighting back, wriggling under the heat of the microscope, but I am big enough to accept even those. Come to me, my little shadows, my denials, my mistakes, and we shall have tea.